I still think about those people and try to figure out why they started their harassment of me. It went from talking to me while I was sleeping, moved on to face to face question/answer sessions from some girl that I "just had to meet," then they used a one-day harassment session that hasn't ended to this day. Six months, twenty six years ago have defined the fifty years of my life.
KS, the girl who questioned me at AN's house was, I believe, nothing more than a dupe used by someone to gather some information. For whom, I don't know. I haven't seen or heard about her since July 1985. I did see AN, the woman I met in 1980 and who was so insistant that I meet KS. I worked with her in 1995 for about two years. I haven't seen or heard about her since then.
I have rarely seen my sisters the past twenty six years. Maybe once every five years.However, they are the ones who keep the harassment going on, especially J.
The two people, F and Fatso, who basically attacked me at the store, McC's, in August 1985 are still in my thoughts. I remember shortly before the incident, I imagined that someone wanted me to point out Fatso's wife, F. Fatso was a cop, and F was a friend of my sister, T. It's almost certain that it wasn't the pot sellers who were interested in Fatso and F, they would have known about them for five years, so they wouldn't have waited to do anything about them, even if they wanted to. I didn't know Fatso and F well to begin with and hadn't seen or thought of them up to the time KS asked the sleeping me she was questioning, if I knew any cops. I said that I didn't. She said, "Really?" It was then that I thought of him and his wife, and I don't remember explaining anything about them. KS might have been gathering info about me for someone in my family or for the cops. It would be plausible that someone would ask if I would point the finger at Fatso or F. Evidently, I would have. I remember sitting in a car, parked on the street in front of a school, and I recognized her in the playground, and pointed her out. Who asked me to point her out, I do not know. It could have been that I was told to imagine being in a parked car on a street in front of a school and shown a photo of her and then identify her. It is not far-fetched at all to think that they themselves (Fatso and F) were the ones who set up a point-her-out test, so they could have an excuse to bring the hammer down on someone who would talk about them. As if they were in so much danger. Or, someone in my family, with the "see what he's talking about and with whom" paranoia of theirs, told them that they have been asked about. My oldest sister, T, was friends with F.
Immediately after the incident at the store, no one ever talked about it, and I didn't even mention it at the time. Especially since I called F, and made a fool out of myself. And why would they bring it up? They are criminals and they know it. From talking to me in my sleep at home, to the "answer my questions now, and remember it all later" interrogation/data-mining sessions with KS, to the psychological attack at the store--they were all criminal acts, and a violation of my constitutional rights. After the incident at the store, they don't even have to show themselves anymore, "It's all in your head," they would say, and it literally is now.
Today, it is probably just my sisters, my mother to get their messages across. It was J who tried to get me to say that a ghost pushed flowers across the stereo when it was just someone who is a negative hallucination. When the incident at the store was almost finished, Fatso showed me two pictures, one of J and one of KS. He said something like, "You know the difference," meaning I knew which one is which, and I said that I did. Then he commanded, "You don't know the difference." And I didn't, their faces became blurry and unrecognizable to me. Why I wouldn't be allowed to see the difference, I don't know.
There was a Sunday last year that would be so bizarre to the average person, but I just walked through it as if it were as common as walking across a room. I went downstairs to get some soda pop. As I entered the living room, I saw my mother's leg and someone putting hosiery on her leg. I heard a man's voice say, "Uh oh. He's here", or something like that. Before I entered the kitchen, I turned around, and my sister G was coming at me pointing her finger and tellinh me to sleep. I didn't, I just turned around, and went into the kitchen. She was surprised and said, "Why doesn't he fall asleep?" she was trying to wave a dress she was wearing, or not wearing, considering they know how to make me hallucinate. She seemed surprised that I could see a dress, real or not, and resorted to calling me a f*gg*t. I knew this by my reaction, which is repeating the time I slapped T when she called me that. Next time, I'll remember to add the part where I threw my glass of chocolate milk in T's face first.
Anyway, I got my pop, and before I walked into the living room, there was some guy who was pointing out who was there as they went out the back door. In a single file, the guy said, "remember this one, remember this one," the first two were J's boyfriend, and my sister G. When he said "remember this one" on the last person, it was J, but as soon as I recognized her as J, she sort of looked like KS. I think she looked at me and mouthed the words, "I'm KS."
Anyway, they have been at it for decades, and probably felt so safe about doing it because I was always guessing wrong about who was behind some of the tactics I'll describe later. Lately, Fatso keeps waving a piece of paper, or telling me to imagine that he does, and says "you signed up for this", and "the only version of things that are coming out are going to be the one I want to get out" and "all you have to do is apologize to your sister, T" and "you have to apologize to the homosexual community." I don't agree with any of that. It is as if he has some crappy milestones that I have to pass in order to be acceptable. It's the tactic of the never ending tests, tests that you will always fail. They want me to jump through hoops, and then, surprise, my sister T says, "no, not good enough. He needs more work." Acutally, T would refer to me as "she", they are trying to reinforce the classic tactic of creating a new profile for you, disguised as "we are helping you through your problem and making you a better person." Never, never forget that they are not your friends, it is not a 'special case' that has to be handled in the way they are doing. It is harassment. They chose the "he wants to be a woman, that's the big secret, but don't let on that you know." Bull, there's no gender confusion, no transvestism, and it would be easy for T to go down this dead end, considering she saw the same tactic used on me forty three years ago, when I was in the first grade.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment