MARCH 5, 2012

March 5, 2012  8:36 am EST

Not much going on in real life. Still working overnight delivery and doing online work during the day. I've been busy in the forums for schizophrenics and it has helped. A lot of the people have the same symptoms that I do. From other people's posts on the site, there's a lot of different reactions and ways to handle the voices. Some consider them guides and they do what the voices tell them, others despise them and argue with them. I am, as you can guess, in the argue with them camp. One guy there even relates the voices to relatives and friends of his, as I do.

I got my paperwork from the Navy. It was a copies of my sign up papers and exit papers. I was more interested in the exit papers, since I didn't remember much about how it ended, except for that visit to X's house and she started the same crap that she's always done since I was seven. The exit papers had that I was inducted (it actually says "Veteran's name" on the papers), and taken somewhere (I remember this), and the reason for being rejected was medical. It was listed as ZAB--Medical Disqualification. I looked this up and it means that disqualified for a medical condition that did not exist prior to enlistment. The interesting part is where it says "did not exist" prior to signing up. I remember that sham doctor writing me up as paranoid schizophrenic.

There are two pages that are dated April 22, 1986 with statements about how I understand this and that, and boxes next to the statements with my initials in them. I've never seen these papers before, but it is my handwriting on them. I do remember sitting at a desk with some woman behind me and asking me, "Is this the date?" I said I didn't know. Then she told me to fill in the time. I said I didn't know what time it was. She showed me her watch and got irritated and said, "Well, look!" I wrote down the time. Then she skipped to the middle of the page and pointed to a line that said, "No waiver of rights to an investigation." She asked me if I knew what that meant. I said I didn't. She told me to initial (or mark) the box at the end of the statement. I hesitated and asked if it was in my best interest to do that. She said it was, told me to sign the bottom, and I signed. But immediately after I signed it, I realized she put another page after that in front of me and I think I signed two papers, once each time.

The copies I got in the mail had the two pages with my initials  in boxes four times and my handwriting "No" four times and my written signature once on each page. I don't remember signing those. The final discharge papers are dated May 23, 1986.

These are copies of the originals. Where are the original papers. I would have gotten a copy of everything, but I don't have it. Whoever has the originals from 1986 is someone who needs my lawyer after them. They didn't send me a copy of any medical records. I have to ask for those from the VA system. I'll fill out the forms today.

So, as I imagine.
It's been almost quiet for a time, but getting a little more active the past few days. It's X and her two sisters mostly. It seems my sisters aren't cooperating. I haven't imagined anything or heard their voices lately. Now, as for X and her two sisters. I remember in October 1984, my grandmother was sick. She had been sick for a long time, about 15 years of the same thing. But she was dying. I never did go see her in the hospital, but I remember standing at the foot of a hospital bed and X and her two sisters standing around her bed, and looking at me. I thought, "Oh great. What the hell do I want from these assholes?"

I blew it off as a dream, but from all the later troubles, it was probably real that X dragged me out to the hospital while I was sleeping. This was around the time people started talking to me at home while I was sleeping.

You can read all about X, the rapist, in previous posts. I mentioned her sister OH once later, when I played "doctor" with her son, who was about the same age at the time, and got caught. OH freaked out, and X and her husband showed up to do their usual thing of "freak the kid out and make him wear a dress" and they gave me whiskey to drink and X's husband said that it was the neighbor lady who taught me that. I do remember, and I think it was a different day, that OH had some people over to her house. I was there and so was my mom. I wouldn't go near my mom no matter how much they tried. There was another lady there that now I think was X's other sister, MR.

MR showed up when I put security cameras up downstairs at the entrances so that if anyone came over, any one I can't see, they'd be on tape. The night before, I think I've posted about this before, I went to the bathroom, came out and there was a man taking things from one of the rooms upstairs (where I spend most of my time). I asked what he was doing, and he said they were there for a pick up. Then there was MR. She showed me a mirror and mentioned my name. Again, as almost always, I thought of my cousin with the same name. I saw myself with a beard. Just before this, she grabbed my face and said, "Who couldn't remember this face?" Really snotty. Then, she or someone mentioned my middle name, which is the same as one of X's sons and also the name of a homeless person who my mom talks to often. So, MR probably, or intentionally, got me to associate my name with other guys. Again.

I walked  out of that room to go to my own room, and there was Fatso from McC's (see previous posts) walking into my parent's room. At the top of the stairs, MR was in front of me, and I saw a light at the bottom of the stairs. A small light, like someone took a picture. I didn't have any clothes on. I thought of this again months later, when X and her gang was trying to get me to crack, MR said to me, "They have a picture of you naked." I didn't care.

Anyway, I wasn't scared that MR and Fatso were there, but I walked down the steps to see what my mother was doing. Some dark figure passed me on the stairs, even though there isn't enough room for two people to pass by each other easily. It was a cop, or I was supposed to think it was. That's all I remember about that incident, other than MR was there to rewrite something about my parent's room. I'll explain this in my next post.

That incident was about two years ago. It must have been one of their final attempts at harassment. I do remember MR, years ago, standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I was sleeping, and she was screaming towards my parent's room, "See. That's what your son is." I turned to look at her, and someone was shining a light, like a flashlight, on me. MR pointed to the wall, told me, "That's ____"(X's son when he was at the age of about 4, as he was in the 1969 incident (see previous post). I saw a shadow on the wall that was X's son, FF, and I was doing what I did in 1969 and that was it. Just trouble making from X and her family.

So, lately it's been those three women, X and her sisters trying to cause me problems. OH was always passing herself off as some woman from the queer community that I can't stand. She's always pushing their agenda. I can't stand her. But OH has been one of the worst. I was going to masturbate and she comes along and starts the voices and says that I'm never going to enjoy sex. It's her revenge for having her son "ruined" by a ten year old kid. If she only knew that X, her sister, could have warned her about me, the little rapist, months before. But since X is a rapist herself, how much could she tell without her own crap coming out?

I'm very rude to these people, as they deserve. Like I say, "You want to know what I'm thinking? I'll tell you what I'm thinking. And if you don't like it, you can't do shit about it." The last time my mom talked to X in real life was about four months ago. X's brother, who might be Fatso, has some colon cancer and will die soon. So, when X and her relatives start me up, I go off, as usual. I told Fatso, or ass cancer guy as I now call him, that he's going to hell so he can hold the door to hell open for his crippled sister, X, when she gets there. They're getting their own treatment back at them that they give out, even if I'm only allowed to imagine it. In real life, though, when anybody mentions their names, I make it clear in no uncertain terms that I don't like these people at all.