MARCH 15, 2012 3:14PM EDT
QUESTION:
I ask my daughter this who has been within psychosis for a few years now and she can't answer.. she just said one it was like one day she awoke and a whole new reality was revealed to her and she felt in immense control for a little while... but then it started becoming dark and overwhelming and the next thing she knows she was flying under a bench in the middle of public from the sound of helicopter blades, shouting to be left alone or trashing her room for cameras and devices trying to escape from the voices in her head, she just says for a little while its bearable but quickly goes beyond her control like nothing she ever experiences, but even in clear mind she cannot answer as to when it directly started.
I find this interesting really and I was just curious if any of you could answer specifically how it started for you or if similarly its just a blur to you?
On other news for me, im very pleased that my daughter is finally (3 years late though, which I feel is criminal as she could have been treated and not have such residual and chronic affect from it all but its better late than never) she is being formally assessed for schizophrenia so with any luck it will be the start of proper and effective treatment to get her stable again. I am so glad that after 4 psychiatrists the one she is under now actually listened and is getting her sorted its a shame she's leaving I think it will throw my daughter as its the one doctor she has grown any repore with, I just hope the one taking her on will be just as patient and considerate. Sorry I felt the need to tell someone at my relief this is finally happening, me and my daughter are a team and there is no point in me talking to my family about it so I hope you don't mind me telling you, I hope you are all well and taking care of yourselves, my thoughts go out to you all.
MY RESPONSE:
Hello,
Sorry your daughter and you were having a hard time. It's never easy for anyone. Looking back, after 27 years, it started for me Oct 1984. I found myself standing at the foot of my grandmother's hospital bed and there were three friends of my parents standing by the bed looking at me. I wondered, "How did I get here and what are those people doing here?" I could not tolerate those people in real life (not my grandmother, those others). At the time, I knew it was different than normal dreaming, but I chalked it up as a dream.
By spring 1985, when I was 25, I had consistent symptoms. Hearing people outside my bedroom door talking to me, a little paranoia, the voices, etc. I had a bad episode in Aug 1985 which I consider to be the total takeover of my life by the sz, since it was the worst episode I've had, even to this day. I was diagnosed in April 1986, by the Navy. I had enlisted, went to induction, had a severe episode, was discharged. The strange thing about that is that I have my enlistment documents, but I don't have any discharge papers or medical reports in my possession (I'm in the process, just now, tracking down who has the copies that I should have). I just chalked that one up to another failure and went on with my life.
So, I guess the sz came on, from warning signs to full blown sz, in less than a year. It may seem like it came on from one day to the next, but there probably were indications before that, but I'm only guessing. I've read on this forum that onset for other people took anywhere from a few months to 2 years. It's different for everybody. As long as I've had this, it is still intolerable, especially when real life people go out of their way to exacerbate the condition (and some people do). But, I get by.
The only advice that I would have for you and/or your daughter is to be discriminating with who you tell. Especially if you are uncertain of a plan of action yourself. If someone doesn't need to know, then don't let them know
ANOTHER POST
Quote from a poster:
"...I feel that I am connecting with people from my past and when I do they attempt to have a normal conversation with me, but my mind has been through so much trauma I attack them and cut the connection off or try to by repeating the same words over and over until they would be annoyed enough to leave. I can't go anywhere because of this. It is a horrible existence."
MY RESPONSE:
I know what you mean by this. The voices I have are abusive people from my past (who I don't have anything to do with in decades in real life). The voices just keep lying about themselves, get me to respond and take my responses and use them to "prove" that I am agreeing with them. Or try to change me into something I'm not, or get me to believer that I am getting special therapy through their voices in order for me to be competent. And on and on. I argue back, call them names, do anything but agree with them. I like to think, "Hey, I'm only thinking. I can think anything I want."
I'm not one for telepathy, but I did try to figure out how any real people got me to start thinking this way. I always figured that they were taking me out of the house while I was sleeping, taking me to somebody's house where they generally mentally abused me, played psychodramas with me, "woke up" problems and had them analyzed by quack pdocs, and scheduled my real waking hours with "then you do that and then you do that," create new associations with words or actions, and play out fake "personalities" or imitations of people they'll pass off as the "real me," and also put on post hypnotic suggestions. Then, they'd take me back home and tell me to just remember all they did "as a dream," "you're only dreamng."
I've had the sz for 27 years, so they've had enough time to load me up with a lot of their nonsense. I put in security cameras about a year and a half ago, and no one is taking me out of the house or coming in without being recorded. But the mental harassment by the voices continues, and like you said, it is a horrible existence
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