December 15, 2013 7:36 pm EDT
Nothing new in real life. Still doing delivery during the night and working online during the day.
Otherwise, it's pretty much the same as it has been the past several decades. X the rapist and her relatives are still playing their head games with me. It is basically X and her relatives that I hear. They always prompt me to think about what they want to play out to their audience, i.e. it's their questions with their answers coming out of my mouth. And then I answer the way I want to, which is the truth of the matters they bring up, and of course, they edit what they don't want people to hear.
These topics they bring up are really inane and stupid and only serve X's purpose to bring up a subject, prompt me to give them their answer and when I contradict them with the truth, they go on and on about split personalities, there is a he and a she, and they are only helping with this faggoty problem, and on and on. Enough people know what X did in 1967 and how she trained me, at age 7, to "want G's (my sister) dress," and put on her dog and pony show at the grade school I went to.
And of course, nowadays they're bullshit is that they are helping me to come out, and all I have to do is say I'm a faggot, and that I should say that I want to be a woman, and then every single problem will go away, and on and on and on. What garbage. X wants to play out her abuse and rape of me as a faggoty head problem. "Oh he alvays vanted to be his seeeester. He vasss so jealous of hees seeeter. Unt look, now he vants to keel heemself because he cannot be the voooman." No, not at all. X put me in her dress, and her crazy relatives are dumb enough to help her. I doubt that they even know what a crazy bitch X was and still is.
Another one of their pointless exercises is when I say that there are many witnesses through the years to all those events I've written about in this blog, it only takes them seconds to come back with, "Oh, I (or we) just talked to that person you claim knows about (whatever) and they say that never happened (or, that's not the way they remember it). First of all, X and her crazies wouldn't drag anyone into this crap because they are bullshitting and it is very transparent that they lie and play head games. FF dragged that friend of his that I worked with in 1986, but there are probably very few others they would use, other than to play something out for them as their "proof."
Secondly, how in the hell could they find someone that I knew 40+ years ago, let alone someone I knew 4 years ago? And why would anyone answer to them about such personal questions about being raped or abused or whatever? They think that just because they say that they found someone who is contradicting what I say that I should believe them. How stupid can they be? They are more desperate than anything.
One of their biggest bullshit is that they claim I have memory problems, and they claim that they are needed to run this scam they're running because they are "helping" me remember, but all they are doing is putting out some bogus bullshit about everything under the sun. What's your favorite movie, what's your favorite this or that, who is your original rapist, etc...They use the last question as an opening for them to prompt me into saying someone's name, and notice how they use the words "original rapist," because X is only one of them.
As for memory, I have a very good memory. My car's brake lines went out two weeks ago and the managers had to drive me around to do my deliveries. They drove while I delivered and I did my whole route by memory. I only looked at my map or route list maybe four times in the four days they helped me.
Yesterday, I thought, "How could X and her relatives know anything about me since I've only seen X three times in the past 20 years?" I've sure heard enough from her, but not seen her. She doesn't visit or call, and yet she claims to know what every single problem is and then comes up with some bullshit analysis of what she claims is the root of this or that so-called problem.
So, this afternoon when I woke up, I heard some asshole say that they are giving X the benefit of the doubt. I'm assuming that they are referring to anything I say about her. I just laughed. The only people I'm hearing are X and her relatives, who have gotten as nutty as she is. No big surprise that they would give her the benefit of their doubts. They are probably scared shitless of her. They know how nuts she is and wouldn't want to get on the receiving end of her craziness. If they don't know about how abusive she really was 40+ years ago, they sure know about her recent crap because they help her play it out. They are as criminal as she is and they know what they are doing should send them to jail.
I might as well recap who these people are:
X, the rapist. She runs this scam on me and the outside world. Abusive piece of crap is what she is.
CC, X's daughter. She passes herself off as just about anything. She prompts the crap that X wants her to do. CC is probably crazy. Something must have snapped in her head when she got beaten by her father and I was forced to watch. She also is the "model" for the woman they claim I am. Copy CC taking a bath, copy CC doing this or that, and on and on. I don't know if she knows that her mother is a rapist, because she was probably still in her room when X did rape me. I know FF saw it because X went crazy as ever when he giggled and she realized that she was being watched. Her own son saw her orally rape me.
I'm certain it was CC who is the fat faced woman who was in my parents bedroom when my nephew was killed. I heard some guy's voice identify her as she left the house that day.
CC is the main prompter to her mother's crap. One of her favorite topics is that, according to her, they caught me red handed abusing a child. Really? I've seen her once since 1973, and that was at her grandmother's funeral in the early 2000s. Her father pointed her out to me there and when I went up to her and called her by her nickname, she just turned me around and pushed me away and said something like she didn't need this. She knows she's a negative hallucination (as are the rest of X's relatives) and she knew that someone had to point her out to me.
That's the same way when, about four years ago, I saw her, she looked to her left and asked someone (probably her mother, X) "where is he? I've waited for this for 25 years," and on and on. Then she threatened me, saying, "When we fuck somebody up, they stay fucked up." She's wrong about that.
FF, X's son. Got his hair pulled out by his father when he kept pulling out his dick at their dining room table after he got raped. He was about 3 or 3 and a half. I'm certain he was the guy who was in my parent's bedroom who found the porn picture in the nightstand. "Look what I found," he said. and I looked and CC looked, and that's her excuse for killing. "He (meaning me) saw my face." Just an excuse. They planned that and knew how it would end beforehand.
FF is a hard drug user. Got busted for selling cocaine in late 1986. It most likely was crack, and he probably got it from his uncle. Someone in real life told me that his uncle sells drugs, and I remember when I was about 12 or so when he came over to my house and gave my sister something that was "better than the last stuff" and she'd like it. Then he took off. FF's uncle must have been selling drugs for a long time.
Fatso, the guy from the store in 1985 and just about every where else I've worked or any store I go to. This is X's brother, FF's uncle the dope dealer. He thinks it's his job to show people the crap his family puts on people to cover up X the rapist and just about everything else, including my nephew's killing.
He hangs around FF, trying to train FF to humiliate anyone he can because that's the way they were raised, to take what they want from people when they want it. Even taking lives, if they have to.
This was the guy who was with his sisters when they woke me up at my grandmother's hospital bed. He's also the one who starts trouble in public and then, lo and behold, he's the one who has to explain what's going on, only his explanations are nothing but crap full of phony associations I have that they claim are true, and on and on.
The description of the rest of them will have to wait until tomorrow. OH and MR, X's sisters, and MR's husband, who is a real asshole. Basically, X the rapist and her children and her siblings have been the harassers the past 46 years. They are all despicable people and have done all the damage they could do, but they still try to fuck people up. It's clearly mental problems on their part.
They claim they are saving their reputations, but I remind them that they have alcoholics, druggies, drug sellers, coke heads, arsonists, con artists, a killer, a rapist, and someone who was sentenced to life in prison in their family. If that's the reputation they don't want tainted by someone talking about them, then...
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
OCTOBER 11, 2013
October 11, 2013 5:25 pm
WERNER STOEBERMANN
Nothing unusual in real life. More of the same, and haven't been able to sleep very well. I got nothing to do anyway. The porch roof is done, it took almost three months to do. The only thing to do now is yard work.
I woke up early this morning to deliver the papers, and immediately started hearing X and her sisters. X was in a dining room pretending to get me ready and in the living room was her sisters who started calling out their usual curse words, faggot, loser and the like. When I got to the door, their sons were calling from upstairs things like, "don't forget to have sex with your mother."
They've been using the tactic of telling me to forget what I just said, then they gloat when I don't remember, and they wait for me to ask them to "help me remember." I don't ask them and it pisses them off when I tell them, "If what they told me to forget is so important, I'll think of it again some other time." They want me to think I have to depend on them. I'm getting loads of sexual slander, too, all about "just join the queers and everything will go away." I doubt if a rapist would give up this set up where she abuses her victim.
Crazy people. Her relatives seem to be really, really nuts. Always threatening my life or some immediate family member's life. They even said I shouldn't have a computer, no emails allowed, or forums or anything else. I wouldn't doubt that they have worked over other people in the same way they are doing to me.
All day since, they've really piled on the bullshit with all the usual head games. It's because I thought of something that I remembered years ago. It seemed that the pot seller regressed me to that thing that X created in 1967 after the school incident (see previous posts), the thing that she trained like a dog to want my sister's dress but I can't have it until I repeated their bullshit lies. He wanted me to kill my nephew, wrap it up in butcher paper and take it to my mother. And it looked like I (or it) did. Strange, but that thing X trained to do what X wanted would have probably cooperated.
If the pot seller could, I don't think that he would. Too much trouble for him and his law enforcement friends, and who would kill a baby in the first place and give three days notice before it happens?
X could do that. I mentioned before that when she "wakes up" her rape victim at that point in time in 1967, she could get it to do what she wanted. I wouldn't put it past her.
WERNER STOEBERMANN
Nothing unusual in real life. More of the same, and haven't been able to sleep very well. I got nothing to do anyway. The porch roof is done, it took almost three months to do. The only thing to do now is yard work.
I woke up early this morning to deliver the papers, and immediately started hearing X and her sisters. X was in a dining room pretending to get me ready and in the living room was her sisters who started calling out their usual curse words, faggot, loser and the like. When I got to the door, their sons were calling from upstairs things like, "don't forget to have sex with your mother."
They've been using the tactic of telling me to forget what I just said, then they gloat when I don't remember, and they wait for me to ask them to "help me remember." I don't ask them and it pisses them off when I tell them, "If what they told me to forget is so important, I'll think of it again some other time." They want me to think I have to depend on them. I'm getting loads of sexual slander, too, all about "just join the queers and everything will go away." I doubt if a rapist would give up this set up where she abuses her victim.
Crazy people. Her relatives seem to be really, really nuts. Always threatening my life or some immediate family member's life. They even said I shouldn't have a computer, no emails allowed, or forums or anything else. I wouldn't doubt that they have worked over other people in the same way they are doing to me.
All day since, they've really piled on the bullshit with all the usual head games. It's because I thought of something that I remembered years ago. It seemed that the pot seller regressed me to that thing that X created in 1967 after the school incident (see previous posts), the thing that she trained like a dog to want my sister's dress but I can't have it until I repeated their bullshit lies. He wanted me to kill my nephew, wrap it up in butcher paper and take it to my mother. And it looked like I (or it) did. Strange, but that thing X trained to do what X wanted would have probably cooperated.
If the pot seller could, I don't think that he would. Too much trouble for him and his law enforcement friends, and who would kill a baby in the first place and give three days notice before it happens?
X could do that. I mentioned before that when she "wakes up" her rape victim at that point in time in 1967, she could get it to do what she wanted. I wouldn't put it past her.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
OCTOBER 2013
Had a really bad episode. Most likely another imprint X and her crazies "woke up." It was really bad. I I was laying in bed before going to work and I couldn't move at all, except for my arms a little bit. My head was tingling and I could hardly keep my eyes open. It felt like being shocked and I thought I was having a stroke until I heard CF say "Now are you going to do what I say." I said yes. But I won't.
I don't doubt that they were replaying the part where CF was dragging the dead baby on me and going crazy. Who else and at what other time would she say what she did? And of course they said that they did that because I blog about them. They are crazy.
Afterwards, they ran their usual routine about how I'm someone else, not me. This time, according to them, I was supposed to be some of the Youtubbers whose videos I've been watching lately. X and her crazies are really laying it on thick with the harassment.
They are babbling now, giving directions on what keys to press here on my phone. The wrong keys, of course.
Here's another post they can complain and go insane about.
I don't doubt that they were replaying the part where CF was dragging the dead baby on me and going crazy. Who else and at what other time would she say what she did? And of course they said that they did that because I blog about them. They are crazy.
Afterwards, they ran their usual routine about how I'm someone else, not me. This time, according to them, I was supposed to be some of the Youtubbers whose videos I've been watching lately. X and her crazies are really laying it on thick with the harassment.
They are babbling now, giving directions on what keys to press here on my phone. The wrong keys, of course.
Here's another post they can complain and go insane about.
Friday, October 4, 2013
JUST GOOGLE MY NAME
October 4, 2013 3:16 PM
Nothing new lately. Still got the delivery job overnight and a couple of places on the Internet that gets me some extra money.
The voices are as usual. The same people. X, the rapist, her daughter and son, and her sisters. And Fatso. In real life, X's oldest son, KF, the one who hasn't done much harassing, has brain and lung cancer. When my mom told me that a few weeks ago, it didn't affect me at all. Never knew him well, and the last time I saw him was when he came over the house on June 3, 1985 to pick up his brother, FF. That was the day my nephew died, and people can read about that in previous posts.
Anyway, the only thought I have about KF and his cancer was that I didn't care and one less of his family in this world is not a bad thing. And I don't care if his family is suffering. I remember X coming upstairs to his bedroom and smacked him across the face and said that he should let my sister in his room, too, and that he should know better because he's older. He was embarassed, of course but I don't feel sorry for him or his sister or his brother because they were pretty much abused their whole life and didn't learn anything from it. They ended up being as abusive as their parents by joining in this harassment campaign.
When I wake up, the voices start in almost immediately. As usual, it's X orchestrating her dog and pony shows, and her daughter carrying out the dirty work. It's just a lot of question and answer harassment. I don't even hear all of their questions and I'm giving an answer that they want. And then they claim that they have a true answer when it's just me thinking about what they want me to say--things that advance their agenda.
I do a lot of responding by calling them losers and liars and their crap is still centered around "Here put on this dress," or, "You always wanted to be a woman." They are just replaying X's harassment and training from 1967 when they put a dress on me and paraded me around to the school because it was X's child abusing way of covering up "Who taught you that?"
And X keeps going on that I always wanted to be my sister, G, which is not true. It was X and her training on me, a 7 year old at the time. "You want G's dress. I know you do. You can't have it until you repeat what we told you say." And on and on and it's still the same harassment now and still run by the same people.
I hear X's sister, OH, a lot lately, too. She's the one whose son told me his thingie was getting hard, so I took care of it. I had just turned 10 at the time. OH is pretty much a dunce. She already sold herself out to her sister in 1970, and know she makes her own situation worse by claiming to be "helping" by the usual tricks of answering questions with their own answers, fill in the blanks on statements that they make me read or read to me, and the ever popular, "All you have to do is wear this dress."
They are all still trying to justify X's abuse from 1967. And that old standy trick of saying along with me what I'm thinking and changing a word which changes the meaning of what I'm thinking and they hope I'll buy into their lies. When they start the "You always wanted to be G (my sister). You were so jealous of G." I just tell them that the cops should ask my first grade teacher about what happened back then because I'm sure she wouldn't forget what she saw in that bathroom and the crappy cover up X orchestrated by abusing children to get her way.
**Right now, CF is telling me to forget what I wanted to type and always saying, "See, your memory isn't what it was." Etc, etc, and etc."
Their just associate trick is more prevelant than ever. I hear them mumble something, then if I wait a few more seconds and realize they said "just associate." I'm associating with words I hear on the radio or TV.
They still try to blame my mother and they say that I really hate my mother and I'm pushing all that hatred onto X. No, I'm not. I never blamed anyone for anything they didn't do, and I'm not going to let X and her accomplices go down that road of "misdirected" hostility. I don't hate my mother at all. She let X do what X wanted with me and my sisters. My mother was assaulted by X that day in 1969, too. She's probably scared of X even now, but she still repeats their cover stories for X's abuse. Lies like X's son got his hair pulled out by neighbor instead of by his own father, which is truth.
Had a weird dream, or reliving one of X's psychodramas they put me through while I'm sleeping. It was that I went downstairs and my mother was sitting in a chair, and she was covered by a sheet. It seemed she was assaulted or something and she was crying. I asked her, "Who did this to you," a couple of times. Then I asked, "Did that woman (I used X's real name) do this to you?" And then I heard the voices say, "He knows it's us." and, "He brings her up (meaning X)." X is orchestrating this harassment and I know X has assaulted her before. When X says things like, "Stop sniffing your mother's panties," what is someone supposed to think? I don't do that.
X just wants to drag people down to her own level. She's disgusting.
It sounds like CF, X's daughter, is piling on the stupidness lately. She wants me to believe that she is a psychiatrist. They're using the old, "We already have you profiled as a dumbass, and since you're already crazy why don't you take the blame?" She keeps trying to claim that I need them to even take a crap or tie my shoes, or on so many drugs that nothing I say should be taken as true, and even a lame attempt at trying to peg me as a drinker. No one could honestly accuse me of those things, but they are so wrapped up in getting me to "verify" their lies that they don't realize that the outside world has seen abusive X in action for many decades and by now people have already figured it out that I am not the issue, X and her raping, abusive self is the issue.
They are always fishing around for something that they could call a guilt trip and blame that for any craziness I supposedly have. I don't feel guilty about anything. It's all a case of a rapist, X, harassing her rape victim, me. And if they aren't fishing around for a guilt trip, they make comments like, "Oh you worked so hard on you college degree." And? I didn't go to college to get a job or career. I went because I wanted to. I graduated when I was 34, and that is too old to start any career, especially with the major I had.
They just want me to feel bad about anything and everything. And they try to "prove" things to the public by manipulating me while I'm sleeping. The only thing they ever proved is that they can manipulate people, and how easy it was for a rapist, X, to manipulate me, her rape victim.
**I heard just know on the TV someone say, "that's what I wanted to think," and immediately heard some guy voice (either one of X's relatives or my uncle who is still friends with X). "That's what I wanted to think," was probably something they said to me so I would have that thought in my head and they could use it sometime or anytime they want to call it up to defend themselves. Like I've said before, they "wake up" imprints whenever they want to claim that I have such a severe reaction to anything and everything. They mostly use the trigger words they created while they were freaking me out at the store, McC's."**
OH says to me to "sexualize everything" and then she carries on a conversation loaded with words that I'm supposed to take as being sexual as a first thought, so they can go on and on about how "that's all he thinks about." They are still prompting me to think of people or things from the past and then, when I make the association, they claim that that is "all he thinks about." Which isn't true, they prompt me to think of things they want to turn into such horrible things and attach a bad reaction from me which never was associated with what they chose to bring up.
Most of the time they play out the McC's event when someone gave me a gun, I attempted to shoot KS (who wasn't there anyway) and then turn the gun on myself. X wants to claim that everything is just so horrible and "Look! Now he is trying to kill heeemself." What a crock. I'm not suicidal, but their lie about "he wants to kill himself because he cannot be a woman" wore thin back in 1967.
I tell them that what they are doing is wasting their own time and lives. They act like they're reporting all the things they are doing to someone. They really are that stupid in real life. X's son, FF, and his uncle went around to places I work at, and stores where I shop and show people what a fool they can make out of me. They're on security cameras and they can't honestly deny that they haven't been stalkers and harassers.
OH and CF go on and on about how there is so much we still have to go through. Bullshit. Once people realize that this all just boils down to X being the rapist that she is and harrassing her rape victim, I don't think people would join them in their harassing.
OH is exceptionally cruel. She makes me hallucinate, "see a rat see someone standing over there." She pushes X's agenda to no end. When they don't get their way, it seems like they round up others to start calling me a faggot, liar, woman, etc, etc. I've been called a faggot since I was 7 years old. By my sister, T, who at the time was carrying on X's abuse if she realized it or not. These voices want me to associate so many things with suicide by making me hear a gun shot when they mention certain subjects. I don't think about suicide. And with a gun? I've never held a real gun in my life, unless you count the store freak out thing, and I've never wanted to own a gun. But, suicide by gun is what they try to train and brainwash me with.
**Ha. My sister T just called my mother. I picked up the phone long enough to make sure it wasn't the beggars that live on the street. It reminds me of the time I last saw T about three years ago. I happened to be in the kitchen cooking something, and the first thing T said was to ask my mother, "Do you still see her," then T lowered her voice and said X's name. I turned to look at my mother's reaction and she was just sitting at the table, wide eyed and said nothing. Don't really know if T knows about X, but she has complained about X's family decades ago.**
I keep telling the voices to read my blog because that's all I really have to say, and no one should take their interrogation/harassment/denigration/ question and answer crap (it is their questions with their answers), and one of them said yesterday that she wasn't going to read that because then X will know that they've read it and they'll have what I want to say running around in their head and they don't want X to have something more to harass them with. I just laughed and thought, "You are that scared of her that you let her control what you think? You are afraid of even THINKING about her?" What weak minded people.
They've really intensified all they've been doing in the past few months because I said that if anyone asks me about myself that I'll just tell them to Google my name, spelled correctly, and they'll know more about me that any of X's accomplices or my relative say about me. And it is so blatantly idiotic that X and her family and my relatives "speak for me," such as "He belives in this or that and the real problem is this or that," when in reality I haven't had anything to do with any of X's relatives or my own relatives since the early 1980s. Over 30 years ago, and they claim to know everything about me. But they just lie to cover their own asses. Still.
**OH is getting really pissed now. "Jack off," she just said to me. OH is some kind of pervert. She tell me to "think sexual" and then goes on using words for me to put in a sexual context whether they are sexual or not. She tells me to jack off and then tries to give me directions "slow down" Ick. She's a 70 something year old and it's really creepy.**
I said the other day that I saw OH's picture in Facebook a while ago and told her she just looked dumpy and very monkeylike. And I said that if she wore make up, she would just look like a baboon's ass. OH and her other sister, MR, are really verging on violence when they don't get their way. I'm never going to wear a dress like they want me to do (X even told me to sit down to pee. Probably just to get an imprint she'll wake up as proof of her agenda) or come out as a fag like they want me to.
Why in the hell should I or anyone else do or say something that's not true? Just for them? "That's all you have to do," is their motto, and I'm not so dumb to think that I or anyone else HAS to do something. No one HAS to do anything.
CF keeps going on and on about how "Your alter ego is a female." Not true. Years ago she said, "Think of me as your conscience." I said, "No. My conscience is not a female." She and X "trained" me to take a bath like a girl (Go watch CF, said X), separate things into women's work and men's work. They claim that I'm a split personality and one of them is a woman. Not true. X and her accompliced created some thing that they "wake up" to back their agenda.
This "all you have to do is say you want to be a woman and all this (head problems) will go away." Really. How dumb are they? X is a rapist and she will never let her rape victim alone. She is training her own stupid kids, especially FF, to carry on her crap when she's gone or too crazy herself to do anything. And until she is dead or too crazy to do her own dirty work, she and her relatives will torture me by using all their tactics when I refuse to cooperate with them, and then try to hang out some nonsense bait of a dress and say, "SHE doesn't feel bad. See how much better you are?" What dummies.
Months ago, I was sitting in some room with X's sisters, OH and MR, and they were doing their usual harassment when I heard someone say, "Take cover." And then I heard a gunshot. It was OH's son. The first thing I thought of was that he was going to kill his mother. But MR jumped up and said that she was FV, and that OH was some community activist from the fag group. I didn't believe them then nor now. OH and MR were scared crapless by the gunshot, and I just laughed.
How do OH or MR's children think about what those old bags are doing to their victims? I don't know, but there's a big difference between not saying something and helping them do their harassment and actively. I guess they were trained to follow their lead, CF and FF certainly turned into abusers that their parents are. I wonder if they ever thought of the alternative, which would be not saying or not doing anything.
Another popular tactic for them lately is to load up trigger words for me to associate with and cause intrusive thoughts, which break my concentration. And then they love to ask, "Not as smart as you think you are." The absence of them is what is called for.
When they tell me to go to a psychiatrist, and X says that I should go to one she picks, I tell them that any shrink can read what I have say right here, in this blog. I'm not going to be stuck in a shrink's office for them to come along and play out their crap (which they do in public already) for a doctor. And how stupid is X when she wants to pick the doctor for her rape/harassment victim? Even her own accomplices should laugh at that one.
THINKING and DOING are two different things.
Just Google my name.
Nothing new lately. Still got the delivery job overnight and a couple of places on the Internet that gets me some extra money.
The voices are as usual. The same people. X, the rapist, her daughter and son, and her sisters. And Fatso. In real life, X's oldest son, KF, the one who hasn't done much harassing, has brain and lung cancer. When my mom told me that a few weeks ago, it didn't affect me at all. Never knew him well, and the last time I saw him was when he came over the house on June 3, 1985 to pick up his brother, FF. That was the day my nephew died, and people can read about that in previous posts.
Anyway, the only thought I have about KF and his cancer was that I didn't care and one less of his family in this world is not a bad thing. And I don't care if his family is suffering. I remember X coming upstairs to his bedroom and smacked him across the face and said that he should let my sister in his room, too, and that he should know better because he's older. He was embarassed, of course but I don't feel sorry for him or his sister or his brother because they were pretty much abused their whole life and didn't learn anything from it. They ended up being as abusive as their parents by joining in this harassment campaign.
When I wake up, the voices start in almost immediately. As usual, it's X orchestrating her dog and pony shows, and her daughter carrying out the dirty work. It's just a lot of question and answer harassment. I don't even hear all of their questions and I'm giving an answer that they want. And then they claim that they have a true answer when it's just me thinking about what they want me to say--things that advance their agenda.
I do a lot of responding by calling them losers and liars and their crap is still centered around "Here put on this dress," or, "You always wanted to be a woman." They are just replaying X's harassment and training from 1967 when they put a dress on me and paraded me around to the school because it was X's child abusing way of covering up "Who taught you that?"
And X keeps going on that I always wanted to be my sister, G, which is not true. It was X and her training on me, a 7 year old at the time. "You want G's dress. I know you do. You can't have it until you repeat what we told you say." And on and on and it's still the same harassment now and still run by the same people.
I hear X's sister, OH, a lot lately, too. She's the one whose son told me his thingie was getting hard, so I took care of it. I had just turned 10 at the time. OH is pretty much a dunce. She already sold herself out to her sister in 1970, and know she makes her own situation worse by claiming to be "helping" by the usual tricks of answering questions with their own answers, fill in the blanks on statements that they make me read or read to me, and the ever popular, "All you have to do is wear this dress."
They are all still trying to justify X's abuse from 1967. And that old standy trick of saying along with me what I'm thinking and changing a word which changes the meaning of what I'm thinking and they hope I'll buy into their lies. When they start the "You always wanted to be G (my sister). You were so jealous of G." I just tell them that the cops should ask my first grade teacher about what happened back then because I'm sure she wouldn't forget what she saw in that bathroom and the crappy cover up X orchestrated by abusing children to get her way.
**Right now, CF is telling me to forget what I wanted to type and always saying, "See, your memory isn't what it was." Etc, etc, and etc."
Their just associate trick is more prevelant than ever. I hear them mumble something, then if I wait a few more seconds and realize they said "just associate." I'm associating with words I hear on the radio or TV.
They still try to blame my mother and they say that I really hate my mother and I'm pushing all that hatred onto X. No, I'm not. I never blamed anyone for anything they didn't do, and I'm not going to let X and her accomplices go down that road of "misdirected" hostility. I don't hate my mother at all. She let X do what X wanted with me and my sisters. My mother was assaulted by X that day in 1969, too. She's probably scared of X even now, but she still repeats their cover stories for X's abuse. Lies like X's son got his hair pulled out by neighbor instead of by his own father, which is truth.
Had a weird dream, or reliving one of X's psychodramas they put me through while I'm sleeping. It was that I went downstairs and my mother was sitting in a chair, and she was covered by a sheet. It seemed she was assaulted or something and she was crying. I asked her, "Who did this to you," a couple of times. Then I asked, "Did that woman (I used X's real name) do this to you?" And then I heard the voices say, "He knows it's us." and, "He brings her up (meaning X)." X is orchestrating this harassment and I know X has assaulted her before. When X says things like, "Stop sniffing your mother's panties," what is someone supposed to think? I don't do that.
X just wants to drag people down to her own level. She's disgusting.
It sounds like CF, X's daughter, is piling on the stupidness lately. She wants me to believe that she is a psychiatrist. They're using the old, "We already have you profiled as a dumbass, and since you're already crazy why don't you take the blame?" She keeps trying to claim that I need them to even take a crap or tie my shoes, or on so many drugs that nothing I say should be taken as true, and even a lame attempt at trying to peg me as a drinker. No one could honestly accuse me of those things, but they are so wrapped up in getting me to "verify" their lies that they don't realize that the outside world has seen abusive X in action for many decades and by now people have already figured it out that I am not the issue, X and her raping, abusive self is the issue.
They are always fishing around for something that they could call a guilt trip and blame that for any craziness I supposedly have. I don't feel guilty about anything. It's all a case of a rapist, X, harassing her rape victim, me. And if they aren't fishing around for a guilt trip, they make comments like, "Oh you worked so hard on you college degree." And? I didn't go to college to get a job or career. I went because I wanted to. I graduated when I was 34, and that is too old to start any career, especially with the major I had.
They just want me to feel bad about anything and everything. And they try to "prove" things to the public by manipulating me while I'm sleeping. The only thing they ever proved is that they can manipulate people, and how easy it was for a rapist, X, to manipulate me, her rape victim.
**I heard just know on the TV someone say, "that's what I wanted to think," and immediately heard some guy voice (either one of X's relatives or my uncle who is still friends with X). "That's what I wanted to think," was probably something they said to me so I would have that thought in my head and they could use it sometime or anytime they want to call it up to defend themselves. Like I've said before, they "wake up" imprints whenever they want to claim that I have such a severe reaction to anything and everything. They mostly use the trigger words they created while they were freaking me out at the store, McC's."**
OH says to me to "sexualize everything" and then she carries on a conversation loaded with words that I'm supposed to take as being sexual as a first thought, so they can go on and on about how "that's all he thinks about." They are still prompting me to think of people or things from the past and then, when I make the association, they claim that that is "all he thinks about." Which isn't true, they prompt me to think of things they want to turn into such horrible things and attach a bad reaction from me which never was associated with what they chose to bring up.
Most of the time they play out the McC's event when someone gave me a gun, I attempted to shoot KS (who wasn't there anyway) and then turn the gun on myself. X wants to claim that everything is just so horrible and "Look! Now he is trying to kill heeemself." What a crock. I'm not suicidal, but their lie about "he wants to kill himself because he cannot be a woman" wore thin back in 1967.
I tell them that what they are doing is wasting their own time and lives. They act like they're reporting all the things they are doing to someone. They really are that stupid in real life. X's son, FF, and his uncle went around to places I work at, and stores where I shop and show people what a fool they can make out of me. They're on security cameras and they can't honestly deny that they haven't been stalkers and harassers.
OH and CF go on and on about how there is so much we still have to go through. Bullshit. Once people realize that this all just boils down to X being the rapist that she is and harrassing her rape victim, I don't think people would join them in their harassing.
OH is exceptionally cruel. She makes me hallucinate, "see a rat see someone standing over there." She pushes X's agenda to no end. When they don't get their way, it seems like they round up others to start calling me a faggot, liar, woman, etc, etc. I've been called a faggot since I was 7 years old. By my sister, T, who at the time was carrying on X's abuse if she realized it or not. These voices want me to associate so many things with suicide by making me hear a gun shot when they mention certain subjects. I don't think about suicide. And with a gun? I've never held a real gun in my life, unless you count the store freak out thing, and I've never wanted to own a gun. But, suicide by gun is what they try to train and brainwash me with.
**Ha. My sister T just called my mother. I picked up the phone long enough to make sure it wasn't the beggars that live on the street. It reminds me of the time I last saw T about three years ago. I happened to be in the kitchen cooking something, and the first thing T said was to ask my mother, "Do you still see her," then T lowered her voice and said X's name. I turned to look at my mother's reaction and she was just sitting at the table, wide eyed and said nothing. Don't really know if T knows about X, but she has complained about X's family decades ago.**
I keep telling the voices to read my blog because that's all I really have to say, and no one should take their interrogation/harassment/denigration/ question and answer crap (it is their questions with their answers), and one of them said yesterday that she wasn't going to read that because then X will know that they've read it and they'll have what I want to say running around in their head and they don't want X to have something more to harass them with. I just laughed and thought, "You are that scared of her that you let her control what you think? You are afraid of even THINKING about her?" What weak minded people.
They've really intensified all they've been doing in the past few months because I said that if anyone asks me about myself that I'll just tell them to Google my name, spelled correctly, and they'll know more about me that any of X's accomplices or my relative say about me. And it is so blatantly idiotic that X and her family and my relatives "speak for me," such as "He belives in this or that and the real problem is this or that," when in reality I haven't had anything to do with any of X's relatives or my own relatives since the early 1980s. Over 30 years ago, and they claim to know everything about me. But they just lie to cover their own asses. Still.
**OH is getting really pissed now. "Jack off," she just said to me. OH is some kind of pervert. She tell me to "think sexual" and then goes on using words for me to put in a sexual context whether they are sexual or not. She tells me to jack off and then tries to give me directions "slow down" Ick. She's a 70 something year old and it's really creepy.**
I said the other day that I saw OH's picture in Facebook a while ago and told her she just looked dumpy and very monkeylike. And I said that if she wore make up, she would just look like a baboon's ass. OH and her other sister, MR, are really verging on violence when they don't get their way. I'm never going to wear a dress like they want me to do (X even told me to sit down to pee. Probably just to get an imprint she'll wake up as proof of her agenda) or come out as a fag like they want me to.
Why in the hell should I or anyone else do or say something that's not true? Just for them? "That's all you have to do," is their motto, and I'm not so dumb to think that I or anyone else HAS to do something. No one HAS to do anything.
CF keeps going on and on about how "Your alter ego is a female." Not true. Years ago she said, "Think of me as your conscience." I said, "No. My conscience is not a female." She and X "trained" me to take a bath like a girl (Go watch CF, said X), separate things into women's work and men's work. They claim that I'm a split personality and one of them is a woman. Not true. X and her accompliced created some thing that they "wake up" to back their agenda.
This "all you have to do is say you want to be a woman and all this (head problems) will go away." Really. How dumb are they? X is a rapist and she will never let her rape victim alone. She is training her own stupid kids, especially FF, to carry on her crap when she's gone or too crazy herself to do anything. And until she is dead or too crazy to do her own dirty work, she and her relatives will torture me by using all their tactics when I refuse to cooperate with them, and then try to hang out some nonsense bait of a dress and say, "SHE doesn't feel bad. See how much better you are?" What dummies.
Months ago, I was sitting in some room with X's sisters, OH and MR, and they were doing their usual harassment when I heard someone say, "Take cover." And then I heard a gunshot. It was OH's son. The first thing I thought of was that he was going to kill his mother. But MR jumped up and said that she was FV, and that OH was some community activist from the fag group. I didn't believe them then nor now. OH and MR were scared crapless by the gunshot, and I just laughed.
How do OH or MR's children think about what those old bags are doing to their victims? I don't know, but there's a big difference between not saying something and helping them do their harassment and actively. I guess they were trained to follow their lead, CF and FF certainly turned into abusers that their parents are. I wonder if they ever thought of the alternative, which would be not saying or not doing anything.
Another popular tactic for them lately is to load up trigger words for me to associate with and cause intrusive thoughts, which break my concentration. And then they love to ask, "Not as smart as you think you are." The absence of them is what is called for.
When they tell me to go to a psychiatrist, and X says that I should go to one she picks, I tell them that any shrink can read what I have say right here, in this blog. I'm not going to be stuck in a shrink's office for them to come along and play out their crap (which they do in public already) for a doctor. And how stupid is X when she wants to pick the doctor for her rape/harassment victim? Even her own accomplices should laugh at that one.
THINKING and DOING are two different things.
Just Google my name.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
JANUARY 24, 2013
January 24, 2013 6:15pm EDT
Nothing new in real life, but X and her kids, CC and FF, and X's sisters are going nuts.
Woke up when I heard three knocks on the window downstairs, and it immediately began again. Hearing X and her dumbass kids screwing over everything. They say that they have already planned out everything that covers their ass. **right now, CF is giving directions on typing, trying to make me think that the transtesticle thing they created and used is something I have to agree with, which I don't** Anyway, other voices keep saying for me to never contradict X. X has been passing herself off as someone, or the only one, who can communicate what she alleges I'm want to say or what I'm thinking. But when I hear her repeating what she says are my comments or answers, they don't match with what I'm thinking or what I believe. She twists things around to her advantage and adds crap that doesn't make any sense.
It seems like she's been making me Skype or they've made some dumbass videos of what she controls talking to people that I don't know, don't want to know, or only thought of in passing. I'm not buying into it, they may or may not be doing that, and just go on a "fuck this stupid bitch" tirade, but X most likely doesn't let that go through when she, X, speaks for me.
And, of course, always passing it off as "it's a woman. he vants to be the voooman." She's lying and she knows it. X is still using her rape victim to get to agree with her, the one X trained to want my sister's dress (see previous post). No mistake about it, X did the 1967 abuse and raped me and physically assaulted my mother in 1969 (see previous post).
And she has her dumbass sister, OH, still pushing some queer agenda she wants me to follow, and then that most probably will lead to some transtesticle thing they set up. X fucked me over the day before I left for the Navy, I've posted about that before, and from what I gather, X's crap woke up in Cleveland. They keep saying that I had no idea about joining the Navy, etc, but X just wants to play out her brainwashing and harassment.
There is no way that the rapist X should be speaking for me or passing anything off as me because it's all shit that she needs to cover her and her kids' asses.
**I hear one of them now as I type this, saying "now T." ** They are trying to pass off this blog as being written by "so many different personalities" that no one should even believe what I am writing. Putting things in writing is better, and certainly more valid, than anyone hearing what X and her family make me say through all their contrivences and flat out lies.
There's always some big problem that I'm suffering, according to X, and only X knows the real answer to the problem and only X knows the real reactions to these problems and only with bogus witness (people suckered into listening to X or helping X). She is full of shit.
It's only X's accomplices and her own relatives who are helping X fuck me over.
No matter how many times I try to say it, or write it out, I do not want those people in my life, real life or otherwise. They are criminals. But with X always being the one who has to "explain" things, what do people expect to hear but only what X wants to say. **her sister, OH, just said that I'm crazy (in German) X's and her henchpeople's commands and harassment is sometimes in German. I think they tried to pass off the transtesticle thing they created as a German speaker**
X is a rapist who has had the lifelong opportunity to harass X's rape victim.
I use X in place of her name and I don't write "she" because they will just go through this later (with me probably agreeing with their rewrites, no less) and ask me things like, "who is 'she' there or here" and X will just make her 7,8,9,10-year old rape victim agree with her.
It seems like they get me to associate while I'm thinking or typing, because when I typed "9,10-year old" I thought of scotch, the drink, which is dumb because I don't drink, maybe once every 8 years or so, but X as mentioned before was/is a huge alcoholic, along with her sister, OH. X wants to drag people down to her own level.
**I just heard FF say "hey T (sister's name)" and trying to get me to answer or at least say something so they can claim that I think I'm her, or someone else, etc. They have a long list of bullshit.
I think X has some bogus claim that I agreed to what X is doing to me now, because X and her idiots want me to sign things that I don't even know what it is about. See previous post about trying to get me to sign a phony suicide letter. There is nothing I've typed, written, or in any way physically put on paper or online in their presence. But they claim they have so much proof, but it really is that they have been stupid enough to document the harassment they put to me.
**OH said a second ago, 'calm down' and I'm not even upset** But, I know they just flat out lie and if they say calm down, they are duping someone, trying to give people the wrong idea of how I'm feeling or to give people the wrong idea about my state of mind.** They prompt directions with things like "be emotional" "be ecstatic" etc, while they are putting on their dog and pony shows. They are just trying to dupe anyone that they show off what they can do to me (and others).
I'm not upset, they are the criminals, and anyone can read this blog and posts and get a real understanding of what they are really doing. But people like my relatives and X's relatives, know and see what they can do to them, so they don't say a word. "Better him than us," is their motto, I guess.
Like someone at work said, not out loud of course, but someone said months ago, "No one here is doing anything to you. It's just that when you come in here, (the sight of) people here induce you." Meaning, X and her henchpeople set up a trigger to start up their idiocy when I see something or someone in real life. They need craziness everywhere, and then they'll explain it they way they want it to be and their a bunch of bullshitters.
I hope they piss off the wrong person someday who will give them what they deserve. "X is white trash. She'll get what she deserves someday," someone said to me in real life years ago.
So, it's 7:00pm and it's going to be another day of X and her henchpeople "waking up" the dumbass things they put me through (maybe years ago) and I have to listen to them and do things like pick up hot pans with bare hands, slap myself in the face three times, etc. And those things happen. It's a constant threat of what X and her henchpeople can make people do.
And the ever popular, "who are you when you do this/say that/?" And taking words they use as triggers even when I hear them say it randomly or think about a word or whatever. X and her bullshitter's conversations and phony ideas come through.
Even when they show people what they can make me do, they are showing people what criminals they really are.
Yesterday, after I asked my mom what Navy documents I came home with, and she said she never saw any, and she doesn't remember how I got home, X claims that X showed me the papers which somehow gives X the right to fuck me over. I've never read any or seen any, and how valid is it when X is forcing me to live in X's fantasy land that is only set up to cover X's rapist ass. **I heard X just say, "Don't you write this,"** meaning the word rapist. X tries to get me to say, or tries to tell others that I'm really meaning racist. X is a rapist and there's nothing X can do about it but victimize her victim as X has always done.
**X or someone just said, "talk to you later" No. I don't want to hear anything from them at anytime.**
Hasn't anyone ever asked X or X's henchpeople, "If he's so imcompetent, what kind of bitch are you to use an incompetent person?" Who are the real sickos here?
Nothing new in real life, but X and her kids, CC and FF, and X's sisters are going nuts.
Woke up when I heard three knocks on the window downstairs, and it immediately began again. Hearing X and her dumbass kids screwing over everything. They say that they have already planned out everything that covers their ass. **right now, CF is giving directions on typing, trying to make me think that the transtesticle thing they created and used is something I have to agree with, which I don't** Anyway, other voices keep saying for me to never contradict X. X has been passing herself off as someone, or the only one, who can communicate what she alleges I'm want to say or what I'm thinking. But when I hear her repeating what she says are my comments or answers, they don't match with what I'm thinking or what I believe. She twists things around to her advantage and adds crap that doesn't make any sense.
It seems like she's been making me Skype or they've made some dumbass videos of what she controls talking to people that I don't know, don't want to know, or only thought of in passing. I'm not buying into it, they may or may not be doing that, and just go on a "fuck this stupid bitch" tirade, but X most likely doesn't let that go through when she, X, speaks for me.
And, of course, always passing it off as "it's a woman. he vants to be the voooman." She's lying and she knows it. X is still using her rape victim to get to agree with her, the one X trained to want my sister's dress (see previous post). No mistake about it, X did the 1967 abuse and raped me and physically assaulted my mother in 1969 (see previous post).
And she has her dumbass sister, OH, still pushing some queer agenda she wants me to follow, and then that most probably will lead to some transtesticle thing they set up. X fucked me over the day before I left for the Navy, I've posted about that before, and from what I gather, X's crap woke up in Cleveland. They keep saying that I had no idea about joining the Navy, etc, but X just wants to play out her brainwashing and harassment.
There is no way that the rapist X should be speaking for me or passing anything off as me because it's all shit that she needs to cover her and her kids' asses.
**I hear one of them now as I type this, saying "now T." ** They are trying to pass off this blog as being written by "so many different personalities" that no one should even believe what I am writing. Putting things in writing is better, and certainly more valid, than anyone hearing what X and her family make me say through all their contrivences and flat out lies.
There's always some big problem that I'm suffering, according to X, and only X knows the real answer to the problem and only X knows the real reactions to these problems and only with bogus witness (people suckered into listening to X or helping X). She is full of shit.
It's only X's accomplices and her own relatives who are helping X fuck me over.
No matter how many times I try to say it, or write it out, I do not want those people in my life, real life or otherwise. They are criminals. But with X always being the one who has to "explain" things, what do people expect to hear but only what X wants to say. **her sister, OH, just said that I'm crazy (in German) X's and her henchpeople's commands and harassment is sometimes in German. I think they tried to pass off the transtesticle thing they created as a German speaker**
X is a rapist who has had the lifelong opportunity to harass X's rape victim.
I use X in place of her name and I don't write "she" because they will just go through this later (with me probably agreeing with their rewrites, no less) and ask me things like, "who is 'she' there or here" and X will just make her 7,8,9,10-year old rape victim agree with her.
It seems like they get me to associate while I'm thinking or typing, because when I typed "9,10-year old" I thought of scotch, the drink, which is dumb because I don't drink, maybe once every 8 years or so, but X as mentioned before was/is a huge alcoholic, along with her sister, OH. X wants to drag people down to her own level.
**I just heard FF say "hey T (sister's name)" and trying to get me to answer or at least say something so they can claim that I think I'm her, or someone else, etc. They have a long list of bullshit.
I think X has some bogus claim that I agreed to what X is doing to me now, because X and her idiots want me to sign things that I don't even know what it is about. See previous post about trying to get me to sign a phony suicide letter. There is nothing I've typed, written, or in any way physically put on paper or online in their presence. But they claim they have so much proof, but it really is that they have been stupid enough to document the harassment they put to me.
**OH said a second ago, 'calm down' and I'm not even upset** But, I know they just flat out lie and if they say calm down, they are duping someone, trying to give people the wrong idea of how I'm feeling or to give people the wrong idea about my state of mind.** They prompt directions with things like "be emotional" "be ecstatic" etc, while they are putting on their dog and pony shows. They are just trying to dupe anyone that they show off what they can do to me (and others).
I'm not upset, they are the criminals, and anyone can read this blog and posts and get a real understanding of what they are really doing. But people like my relatives and X's relatives, know and see what they can do to them, so they don't say a word. "Better him than us," is their motto, I guess.
Like someone at work said, not out loud of course, but someone said months ago, "No one here is doing anything to you. It's just that when you come in here, (the sight of) people here induce you." Meaning, X and her henchpeople set up a trigger to start up their idiocy when I see something or someone in real life. They need craziness everywhere, and then they'll explain it they way they want it to be and their a bunch of bullshitters.
I hope they piss off the wrong person someday who will give them what they deserve. "X is white trash. She'll get what she deserves someday," someone said to me in real life years ago.
So, it's 7:00pm and it's going to be another day of X and her henchpeople "waking up" the dumbass things they put me through (maybe years ago) and I have to listen to them and do things like pick up hot pans with bare hands, slap myself in the face three times, etc. And those things happen. It's a constant threat of what X and her henchpeople can make people do.
And the ever popular, "who are you when you do this/say that/?" And taking words they use as triggers even when I hear them say it randomly or think about a word or whatever. X and her bullshitter's conversations and phony ideas come through.
Even when they show people what they can make me do, they are showing people what criminals they really are.
Yesterday, after I asked my mom what Navy documents I came home with, and she said she never saw any, and she doesn't remember how I got home, X claims that X showed me the papers which somehow gives X the right to fuck me over. I've never read any or seen any, and how valid is it when X is forcing me to live in X's fantasy land that is only set up to cover X's rapist ass. **I heard X just say, "Don't you write this,"** meaning the word rapist. X tries to get me to say, or tries to tell others that I'm really meaning racist. X is a rapist and there's nothing X can do about it but victimize her victim as X has always done.
**X or someone just said, "talk to you later" No. I don't want to hear anything from them at anytime.**
Hasn't anyone ever asked X or X's henchpeople, "If he's so imcompetent, what kind of bitch are you to use an incompetent person?" Who are the real sickos here?
Monday, January 21, 2013
An Old Post
January 21, 2013 9:19pm EDT
I found this draft of a post and I'm just putting it up now.
1986
I worked with a girl, SR, in a department store 1980. She was a nice college girl, worked part-time, and partied full time. Years later, she ended up working at a gas station. This was after they made me flip out on KS at McC's, SR said something, and I said she was somewhere when she wasn't. After a few denials, she said to me, "What? Are you trying to get me to doubt myself?" And I yelled at her that, "That's what you're trying to get me to do!" It wasn't more than a second or so after that, there was a huge light, as if someone had taken a picture, and I cringed and screamed, like a two year old or something. I didn't feel anything, and don't know how I got back into my car, and I'm only guessing that I was being followed by someone who would stop any weird things that may come up. It's possible, this was shortly after McC's, and they would have been interested in seeing any reactions. Eh, maybe they took me to the hospital, shot me up, and let me go. Capture and release.
I found this draft of a post and I'm just putting it up now.
1986
I worked with a girl, SR, in a department store 1980. She was a nice college girl, worked part-time, and partied full time. Years later, she ended up working at a gas station. This was after they made me flip out on KS at McC's, SR said something, and I said she was somewhere when she wasn't. After a few denials, she said to me, "What? Are you trying to get me to doubt myself?" And I yelled at her that, "That's what you're trying to get me to do!" It wasn't more than a second or so after that, there was a huge light, as if someone had taken a picture, and I cringed and screamed, like a two year old or something. I didn't feel anything, and don't know how I got back into my car, and I'm only guessing that I was being followed by someone who would stop any weird things that may come up. It's possible, this was shortly after McC's, and they would have been interested in seeing any reactions. Eh, maybe they took me to the hospital, shot me up, and let me go. Capture and release.
JANUARY 21, 2013
January 21, 2013 7:17pm EDT
Nothing new in real life. Still doing deliveries overnight and working online during the day. Stopped drinking soda pop completely for about three weeks now. It made a big difference in the voices, they are a lot quieter and absent for most of the day a lot of times.
But still, I hear that psycho rapist, X, in my left ear calling out things to respond/associate with so she can apply what I think or say to whatever she wants just to make me feel bad/upset and to lead her dupes by the nose. In real life, I heard my mom talking to her on the phone. Evidently, X was asking about some people they both knew, if my mom knew their phone number, etc. I heard my mom say, "Why should I call them and bother them? If they're not home then..." X is probably setting her up to make a ton of phone calls for nothing. Typical of that psycho.
X is never going to understand that people know what a criminal she is and she is making a fool out of herself and her family by forcing her victims to lie. Also, when I think about asking for my Navy papers, X is still so stupid to try to get me to believe that it's not important, etc. She was the troublemaker back then, was up to her neck in causing problems, and her and her family helped her.
I should ask for my Navy papers just to see the reaction I get. I get the feeling that the Navy knew what they were getting, meaning someone who was having his life run by a bunch of criminal fools, and weren't really surprised about the outcome. I also get the feeling that X and her fools are trying to pass off a "he doesn't know that he signed up." I have the entry papers, but no discharge papers. That's odd in itself, but what X and her family did to me the day before I left was the problem.
It's sad that so many people know what X and her relatives and my own relatives are doing. My relatives, her relatives, the police, the military, people I've worked with have been suckered into bullshit by X and especially Fatso, the guy from the store episode. As far as I can tell, their usual bullshit is "He wants to be a girl and we can show you." That was X's abuse towards me and my sister in 1967. X and her husband trained us like dogs. I was trained to want my sister's new dress, and she was trained to call me a liar, and all to be played out at the school interview (see previous post).
Like I've been saying for years, they are taking X's and my sister T's abuse towards me (putting me in dresses as if I wanted to) and trying to turn it into a grown up gender/transtesticle lifestyle and pass that off as the problem just so they don't have to answer for their own crimes. And people are duped by it. Really despicable people.
I hear Fatso keep threatening to get me fired. With the help of X's son, FF, no less. They are still trying to set up FF as someone who is going to "manage" my life by being a voice in the head. Not going to happen. They call it "managing" when its really just a way to abuse me and get what they want. That coke/crackhead should get a life.
It's about time I mentioned to my mother to stop with the cover stories from X's rape day. My mom still brings up the "Remember when FF got his hair pulled out by his neighbor?" And I think, "No, it was his father from that day who pulled out his hair." Also, the time she went with X to visit X's daughter, CC, and my mom said CC made sure that my mom saw a book that had sister J's name in it. And I think, "No, it was sister G's name in the book, because sister J was only four years old at the time." It must have been one of the books from the bag of books we took over to X's house the next day to pick up the car. That was when X sat in the dining room and told my mom that CF was out of school for a while because she had the "whipping cough" and then called to me, "You don't want that do you? You don't want that to happen to you, do you?" What a bitch. CF was out of school because her dad beat the crap out of her with a belt and made me watch.
It's about time people treated X like the abusive rapist she is.
In my left ear I can hear X's two sisters always setting up or playing out X's idiotic lies. OH, X's sister (see previous post) really has some serious head problems. Her big thing is that she's trying to pass herself off as someone who is giving real psychiatric help. But really, someone trying to pass themself off as a "voice in the head" helper is someone who has something to hide. OH is trying to avoid thinking about what happened at her house in 1970 when her son told me about his dick getting hard and that led to some stuff (see previous post). Of course X showed up and went through the same old things she did. Give me some whisky, tease me with a little toy which I'll get when I repeat their crap. In that case, OH asked who taught me that and X's husband was getting me to say what they coached me with. After X said that I should say it, I said FV (the neighbor girl who eventually showed up at the store episode). Don't know if my sister T (FV's friend) ever told FV that she was pegged as a molester back in 1970, or if T even knows it at all.
Anyway, according to OH and her sister MR, the cure for the craziness they contrive is to join the queer community. Not happening, but they use those people as a weapon of mass harassment. And also that I should go to a psychiatrist. And I respond, "For what? I know right from wrong. And why should I waste my time talking to a shrink when all X the rest of them are going to interfere?" Fatso and the rest of them interfere with my jobs, my home life, and everything else. Why bother with psychiatry when they're just going to be interfering and leading the conversations?
Anyone who can read English can read this blog and my forum posts and know the real truth without all the bullshit from X and the others. I find it funny that people halfway around the world know more of the truth than the idiots people like Fatso and the rest of them round up to "help." Their "helpers" are just doing Fatso's and X's dirty work by reading me some crap questions that are set up to get dumbass answers from someone they claim is me.
The hidden text in this blog worked really well to get me near the top of search engine results. When someone searches for my real name, the result for this blog is on the first page. So much for their "don't tell anyone."
OH and Fatso regularly say, "I'm going to get you committed if it's the last thing I do." X was screaming for a long time about how she wanted me and my mom put away for life. People have to pay for knowing that X is a full fledged rapist.
Really just the same shit over and over. OH and her push toward the queers, and when I think, "Why should I say I'm something I'm not?" and I call her a glorified fag hag, she calls in that boob FF who starts with the constant "you're a fag. you're homosexual. faggot." I just think,"You're talking to someone who's been called a faggot since he was seven. Do you actually think you can bother me since I've heard it for 46 years? And do you think I survived 46 years of X's harassment to give in to you?"
OH's husband died a few months ago. I really couldn't have cared less. One less person from that family on this earth is not a bad thing. Seeing as how she's been so busy harassing me, I thought, "He had to die to get some attention from her."
When they try to get people to believe that so many problems are just guilt trips that cause their voices in my head, I can only say that is not the problem. I've written out everything that was important in my life, so how could cause guilt trips? Especially since I admit to a lot of things (see previous posts).
One thing that stands out in the past few months was about some trip to Mexico I took through school in 1974. About two years ago when that woman I describe in previous posts, the one who said to me, while holding a knife and"When we fuck people over, they stay fucked up." When I first saw her, she looked like a girl who was on that Mexico trip. But, I immediately thought that would be impossible for it to be her since there's nothing in reality that she would really show up.
After that X has been prompting the word "Mexico" as an unfinished ambiguity (a word or phrase they say to get their victim (me) to associate with/fill in a blank/etc). But I wasn't getting the right connection X wanted, so a few weeks ago, it finally came up that I was supposed to associate Mexico with that girl who told me to go away. I thought it was really funny and pathetic that X would play that out in that way. It was never a big deal to me, but X tries to pass that off as such a big deal. Telling lies that I cried and who knows what else.
That is X's tactic. "He's always been that vay. Emotional unt upset." (Cliched German accent). I just laughed that X is so desperate to have answers to every single thing in my life and she attaches reactions to them that never existed. X is the problem. Her raping me and assaulting my mom is the problem. Her and her son FF play out the store episode suicide attempt quite often as a reaction to the crap they concoct.
Incidentally, not so much incidental but important, how could anyone think that I would kill myself, let alone with a gun? I don't own a gun. I don't want to own a gun. I think of buying on just to piss the voices off, but I haven't even touched a real gun in my life. Someone would have to have given me a gun in the 1985 store episode. Probably Fatso since he was running that dog and pony show. I know that the store episode was contrived by FVand Fatso (see previous posts).
This reminds of OH's tactics lately. She forces so many visual hallucinations recently, it's really getting dangerous. She is turning out to be more psychotic than X is. I know they are commanded by OH because she admits it. As I wrote before, I saw a fuzzy gray blob on the floor and the thought that crossed my mind was that it was a rat. Later on, OH said, "I know you're liar. You say you're afraid of rats, but I made you hallucinate one and you weren't scared, so I proved you are a liar." I just thought, "I know the difference between a real rat and a hallucination. It seems like I don't hallucinate on command very well."
And I don't. OH has been prompting me to see faces, people standing here and there while I'm working. They're not well defined at all, and last only a second or so, and it doesn't make me do anything more than a double take. No, I don't talk to hallucinations, and before these past few weeks, OH has been prompting more visuals than I've ever had since this sz started.
So, what's the point of causing nonsense hallucinations? Am I supposed to react to them crazily and run off to a shrink? Not happening. But these are the same people who told me that "you will never be complete until you try to kill yourself for real." Crazies they are. It's just another thing that X wants because she's put so much crap and lies out there about me but she's not getting any real life, uncontrived actions to back up her lies. Once people realize that X is a rapist and trying to cover her ass by harassing her victim, a lot of things will become clearer to those people X dupes.
It's people like X, OH, Fatso, FF, MR, and CC and their harassment tactics that got me started writing this blog. They only ensured that the real reason of why they're so interested in everything about me got out. X is a rapist and it's her way of using her relatives to cover her ass. And they know it and they know I know it.
They only succeded in shooting themselves in the foot, imaginary gun and all.
Werner K Stoebermann Werner Stoebermann
Nothing new in real life. Still doing deliveries overnight and working online during the day. Stopped drinking soda pop completely for about three weeks now. It made a big difference in the voices, they are a lot quieter and absent for most of the day a lot of times.
But still, I hear that psycho rapist, X, in my left ear calling out things to respond/associate with so she can apply what I think or say to whatever she wants just to make me feel bad/upset and to lead her dupes by the nose. In real life, I heard my mom talking to her on the phone. Evidently, X was asking about some people they both knew, if my mom knew their phone number, etc. I heard my mom say, "Why should I call them and bother them? If they're not home then..." X is probably setting her up to make a ton of phone calls for nothing. Typical of that psycho.
X is never going to understand that people know what a criminal she is and she is making a fool out of herself and her family by forcing her victims to lie. Also, when I think about asking for my Navy papers, X is still so stupid to try to get me to believe that it's not important, etc. She was the troublemaker back then, was up to her neck in causing problems, and her and her family helped her.
I should ask for my Navy papers just to see the reaction I get. I get the feeling that the Navy knew what they were getting, meaning someone who was having his life run by a bunch of criminal fools, and weren't really surprised about the outcome. I also get the feeling that X and her fools are trying to pass off a "he doesn't know that he signed up." I have the entry papers, but no discharge papers. That's odd in itself, but what X and her family did to me the day before I left was the problem.
It's sad that so many people know what X and her relatives and my own relatives are doing. My relatives, her relatives, the police, the military, people I've worked with have been suckered into bullshit by X and especially Fatso, the guy from the store episode. As far as I can tell, their usual bullshit is "He wants to be a girl and we can show you." That was X's abuse towards me and my sister in 1967. X and her husband trained us like dogs. I was trained to want my sister's new dress, and she was trained to call me a liar, and all to be played out at the school interview (see previous post).
Like I've been saying for years, they are taking X's and my sister T's abuse towards me (putting me in dresses as if I wanted to) and trying to turn it into a grown up gender/transtesticle lifestyle and pass that off as the problem just so they don't have to answer for their own crimes. And people are duped by it. Really despicable people.
I hear Fatso keep threatening to get me fired. With the help of X's son, FF, no less. They are still trying to set up FF as someone who is going to "manage" my life by being a voice in the head. Not going to happen. They call it "managing" when its really just a way to abuse me and get what they want. That coke/crackhead should get a life.
It's about time I mentioned to my mother to stop with the cover stories from X's rape day. My mom still brings up the "Remember when FF got his hair pulled out by his neighbor?" And I think, "No, it was his father from that day who pulled out his hair." Also, the time she went with X to visit X's daughter, CC, and my mom said CC made sure that my mom saw a book that had sister J's name in it. And I think, "No, it was sister G's name in the book, because sister J was only four years old at the time." It must have been one of the books from the bag of books we took over to X's house the next day to pick up the car. That was when X sat in the dining room and told my mom that CF was out of school for a while because she had the "whipping cough" and then called to me, "You don't want that do you? You don't want that to happen to you, do you?" What a bitch. CF was out of school because her dad beat the crap out of her with a belt and made me watch.
It's about time people treated X like the abusive rapist she is.
In my left ear I can hear X's two sisters always setting up or playing out X's idiotic lies. OH, X's sister (see previous post) really has some serious head problems. Her big thing is that she's trying to pass herself off as someone who is giving real psychiatric help. But really, someone trying to pass themself off as a "voice in the head" helper is someone who has something to hide. OH is trying to avoid thinking about what happened at her house in 1970 when her son told me about his dick getting hard and that led to some stuff (see previous post). Of course X showed up and went through the same old things she did. Give me some whisky, tease me with a little toy which I'll get when I repeat their crap. In that case, OH asked who taught me that and X's husband was getting me to say what they coached me with. After X said that I should say it, I said FV (the neighbor girl who eventually showed up at the store episode). Don't know if my sister T (FV's friend) ever told FV that she was pegged as a molester back in 1970, or if T even knows it at all.
Anyway, according to OH and her sister MR, the cure for the craziness they contrive is to join the queer community. Not happening, but they use those people as a weapon of mass harassment. And also that I should go to a psychiatrist. And I respond, "For what? I know right from wrong. And why should I waste my time talking to a shrink when all X the rest of them are going to interfere?" Fatso and the rest of them interfere with my jobs, my home life, and everything else. Why bother with psychiatry when they're just going to be interfering and leading the conversations?
Anyone who can read English can read this blog and my forum posts and know the real truth without all the bullshit from X and the others. I find it funny that people halfway around the world know more of the truth than the idiots people like Fatso and the rest of them round up to "help." Their "helpers" are just doing Fatso's and X's dirty work by reading me some crap questions that are set up to get dumbass answers from someone they claim is me.
The hidden text in this blog worked really well to get me near the top of search engine results. When someone searches for my real name, the result for this blog is on the first page. So much for their "don't tell anyone."
OH and Fatso regularly say, "I'm going to get you committed if it's the last thing I do." X was screaming for a long time about how she wanted me and my mom put away for life. People have to pay for knowing that X is a full fledged rapist.
Really just the same shit over and over. OH and her push toward the queers, and when I think, "Why should I say I'm something I'm not?" and I call her a glorified fag hag, she calls in that boob FF who starts with the constant "you're a fag. you're homosexual. faggot." I just think,"You're talking to someone who's been called a faggot since he was seven. Do you actually think you can bother me since I've heard it for 46 years? And do you think I survived 46 years of X's harassment to give in to you?"
OH's husband died a few months ago. I really couldn't have cared less. One less person from that family on this earth is not a bad thing. Seeing as how she's been so busy harassing me, I thought, "He had to die to get some attention from her."
When they try to get people to believe that so many problems are just guilt trips that cause their voices in my head, I can only say that is not the problem. I've written out everything that was important in my life, so how could cause guilt trips? Especially since I admit to a lot of things (see previous posts).
One thing that stands out in the past few months was about some trip to Mexico I took through school in 1974. About two years ago when that woman I describe in previous posts, the one who said to me, while holding a knife and"When we fuck people over, they stay fucked up." When I first saw her, she looked like a girl who was on that Mexico trip. But, I immediately thought that would be impossible for it to be her since there's nothing in reality that she would really show up.
After that X has been prompting the word "Mexico" as an unfinished ambiguity (a word or phrase they say to get their victim (me) to associate with/fill in a blank/etc). But I wasn't getting the right connection X wanted, so a few weeks ago, it finally came up that I was supposed to associate Mexico with that girl who told me to go away. I thought it was really funny and pathetic that X would play that out in that way. It was never a big deal to me, but X tries to pass that off as such a big deal. Telling lies that I cried and who knows what else.
That is X's tactic. "He's always been that vay. Emotional unt upset." (Cliched German accent). I just laughed that X is so desperate to have answers to every single thing in my life and she attaches reactions to them that never existed. X is the problem. Her raping me and assaulting my mom is the problem. Her and her son FF play out the store episode suicide attempt quite often as a reaction to the crap they concoct.
Incidentally, not so much incidental but important, how could anyone think that I would kill myself, let alone with a gun? I don't own a gun. I don't want to own a gun. I think of buying on just to piss the voices off, but I haven't even touched a real gun in my life. Someone would have to have given me a gun in the 1985 store episode. Probably Fatso since he was running that dog and pony show. I know that the store episode was contrived by FVand Fatso (see previous posts).
This reminds of OH's tactics lately. She forces so many visual hallucinations recently, it's really getting dangerous. She is turning out to be more psychotic than X is. I know they are commanded by OH because she admits it. As I wrote before, I saw a fuzzy gray blob on the floor and the thought that crossed my mind was that it was a rat. Later on, OH said, "I know you're liar. You say you're afraid of rats, but I made you hallucinate one and you weren't scared, so I proved you are a liar." I just thought, "I know the difference between a real rat and a hallucination. It seems like I don't hallucinate on command very well."
And I don't. OH has been prompting me to see faces, people standing here and there while I'm working. They're not well defined at all, and last only a second or so, and it doesn't make me do anything more than a double take. No, I don't talk to hallucinations, and before these past few weeks, OH has been prompting more visuals than I've ever had since this sz started.
So, what's the point of causing nonsense hallucinations? Am I supposed to react to them crazily and run off to a shrink? Not happening. But these are the same people who told me that "you will never be complete until you try to kill yourself for real." Crazies they are. It's just another thing that X wants because she's put so much crap and lies out there about me but she's not getting any real life, uncontrived actions to back up her lies. Once people realize that X is a rapist and trying to cover her ass by harassing her victim, a lot of things will become clearer to those people X dupes.
It's people like X, OH, Fatso, FF, MR, and CC and their harassment tactics that got me started writing this blog. They only ensured that the real reason of why they're so interested in everything about me got out. X is a rapist and it's her way of using her relatives to cover her ass. And they know it and they know I know it.
They only succeded in shooting themselves in the foot, imaginary gun and all.
Werner K Stoebermann Werner Stoebermann
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)